The Emotional Challenge
Pain and I have a very unique and intimate relationship. If you're reading this blog it means you are probably in the same boat and you may even feel like our boat is a little bit leaky. You understand the pain of a dislocation, that one pesky joint that doesn't co-operate on a day you need it most, the process of relocating joints each morning before you start your day, the pains of a flare up day, the sleepless nights and you know the pain of an injured joint full well. Yet this isn't the part of EDS that gets me the most. It's not the part that causes the most pain. It's not the main reason I cry.
See you and I know pain better than the average person. You and I have that unique relationship with physical pain that allows us to understand and process it better than most. But what about emotional pain caused by our body? What about that financial pressure? What about that career burden? What about family stress and pain caused by this condition we can't control?
Emotional pain is different to physical pain. The physical pain is there constantly in some form or another and we just live with it. To us it's part of life. It's like the weather, we may be used to the heat because we live in a hot country but to the English, 30 degrees is a scorching day. Yet we have that tolerance built up from years and years of experience.
Emotional pain usually comes suddenly and hurts us in a way that we don't always know how to deal with. It makes us ask questions and if we aren't careful can suck the hope from our beautiful lives.
So I'm going to give you a few quick things that help me with that emotional challenge that we all deal with.
1) You're already kicking butt.
Have you thought about how amazing you are?You're dealing with an illness and you're here reading this blog, regardless of what's going on in your life right now, you get points for showing up!
2) You're further along than you think you are!
A wise person once said that the only time we should ever look back is to see how far we have come, and that's so true. We are so much further towards our goals than we realise. Think about all the challenges you've overcome, all the people that said you couldn't and all the time you were sure you weren't going to be able to do a task and yet you did it. You're already doing great.
3) You're doing better than you think you are!
Our biggest critics are ourselves. I'm a perfectionist. I adore hard work that pays off and don't feel good enough when I'm not at my peak. The truth is that sometimes I need to let myself have a day off and have some ice cream and chocolate and breathe. Let yourself off the hook. You're doing amazing.
4) You're doing more than you think you are!
Feeling overwhelmed? Probably means that you're achieving a lot even with your struggles. The simple tasks others take for granted like showering and eating can be a real effort for us and we are really kicking butt when we get through those and even more so when we are able to function as a reasonable member of society too!
5) You're going to go further than you think you will…
It may not seem like much now but you are learning more about yourself, your limits, your mind and this world than most people learn in a lifetime. You see life in a different way to others.
Do you ever feel like your friends your age aren't always as mature as you? That's probably because you've been fed a double dose of real life, yet you come out with a mental fortitude that others can only dream of having.
Believe it or not successful people are built on pain and problems. Be proud because you're going to change your world.